Just Leave Me Be

I have had enough of you. It seems as if all you want to do is hurt me. What the heck did I do to you? Your the one who broke me. Are you not satisfied with that?

Now that I'm finally happy again you instantly appear. And all you have been doing is bringing me down. I thought I was through with you. I thought that finally you can't hurt me any more. But here I am, once again hurt by you. Yeah, I say that I don't care anymore but still it hurts sometimes. It makes me wonder what the heck I was thinking when I was with you. I didn't know how much damage you could do to me. Honestly I know that I do care, otherwise I wouldn't be writing this stupid thing. But here I am writing this..caring.

I wish I could be mean to you back, to hurt you. But I don't have it in me. I'm not that kind of person. People ask me why and I just can't explain it. But I know doing that won't make me no better than you. In fact I would be just like you. Hurting someone I once claimed to love. I want to know how you can go to "I love you" to "I hate you" when I haven't done a single thing to you.

I know that I just need to forget about you but it is so hard. I may not feel the same way about you as before but I still care. I would be hurt if anything ever happened to you. And it is so stupid because I know that you probably wouldn't even be bothered if anything happened to me. But hey what can I do right. I guess it is what it is. I tried with you and it didn't work, so now I just have to move on, and not worry or care about you any more. My song for it being over:
"I am running out of words to say to you. Wondering why I'm wasting my time. Thinking back and wondering why I'm such a fool for loving you"

Just Tired Of It

I'm tired of you always doing this to me. It seems as if you are never pleased with me. I know you love me but you have a hard time showing it sometimes. Its your temper and I hate how you blow up on me. You say hurtful things sometimes and you do not realize it. Its always over the littlest things when you yell at me too. It's never important either.
Its even worse when you are drinking. You always seem to get 20 times more mad then if you weren't drinking. Its as if you take out all your other problems out on me. Well its not always me either, you take it out on my brothers too. Its worse when you argue with them because they will sit there and argue back. And nothing ever comes good out of that.
The times when you make me cry are the worse. It makes me feel like crap. I think that you don't love me and you would be better off with out me. And if you don't love me, who will? I really don't want to talk about this anymore so I will be done. I will leave you with:
"Your parents say everything is your fault, but they don't know you like I know you they don't know you at all"

Just Doubtful

Well here it goes

I know what it's supposed to feel like, but I'm doubtful. I know that what I'm feeling is real. I love this feeling, I'm happy. And I haven't been this happy since, well the last time. But still it's just so hard to let him all the way in. I do not want to get hurt, again. I'm not sure if I will be able to handle that type of pain, again.

I don't want to mess this up again like I did the last time. I try to do things different but I realize I'm still doing the same exact thing. I pick the stupidest fights over nothing. And then I feel bad because he blames it on himself when I know its my fault. I do it on purpose sometimes, it excites me but I know that it can not be good for us. And I legitimately want this to last.

Problem: He wants me too meet his family
That scares the heck out of me. For one, what if they don't like me! That would be the worst thing ever. To know that his family hate me but still be with him. I would feel guilty for some reason. I think another reason I'm scared is if I do, then this is actually real. Me and him. Together. And that goes back to me not wanting to get hurt again. If I meet his family then that means we are actually apart of each others lives. I like that we are in each other lives, but it still scares me.

Another thing: He is best friends with his ex, I really didn't like that at first. But I got used to it. Now he says he's done talking to her and I feel bad. I don't want to be the reason their friendship breaks up. I don't care if he says that she has hurt him bad, I can tell he still cares for her a lot and I just have to deal with that.

Well I know that he means a lot to me and what ever happens, I do not want to hurt him at all.
He really is an amazing guy even if he doesn't think so. If we don't work out I still want to be friends and I want him to be happy. I just hate when he tells me that he would give up. It puts so much pressure on me and its sometimes to much.

But as but as I love venting my feelings, which I do haha, I believe its time to end this. So my last word will be:

"Your doing flips, read my lips. Your in love"