Just Doubtful

Well here it goes

I know what it's supposed to feel like, but I'm doubtful. I know that what I'm feeling is real. I love this feeling, I'm happy. And I haven't been this happy since, well the last time. But still it's just so hard to let him all the way in. I do not want to get hurt, again. I'm not sure if I will be able to handle that type of pain, again.

I don't want to mess this up again like I did the last time. I try to do things different but I realize I'm still doing the same exact thing. I pick the stupidest fights over nothing. And then I feel bad because he blames it on himself when I know its my fault. I do it on purpose sometimes, it excites me but I know that it can not be good for us. And I legitimately want this to last.

Problem: He wants me too meet his family
That scares the heck out of me. For one, what if they don't like me! That would be the worst thing ever. To know that his family hate me but still be with him. I would feel guilty for some reason. I think another reason I'm scared is if I do, then this is actually real. Me and him. Together. And that goes back to me not wanting to get hurt again. If I meet his family then that means we are actually apart of each others lives. I like that we are in each other lives, but it still scares me.

Another thing: He is best friends with his ex, I really didn't like that at first. But I got used to it. Now he says he's done talking to her and I feel bad. I don't want to be the reason their friendship breaks up. I don't care if he says that she has hurt him bad, I can tell he still cares for her a lot and I just have to deal with that.

Well I know that he means a lot to me and what ever happens, I do not want to hurt him at all.
He really is an amazing guy even if he doesn't think so. If we don't work out I still want to be friends and I want him to be happy. I just hate when he tells me that he would give up. It puts so much pressure on me and its sometimes to much.

But as but as I love venting my feelings, which I do haha, I believe its time to end this. So my last word will be:

"Your doing flips, read my lips. Your in love"